So The Man was sweet and surprised me with a trip to the great north – or Portland, ME.
These are the things you should know about Portland:
1. It’s awesome.
2. It is home to this heavenly hipster joint named Duck Fat – Poutine from God’s table I tell you.
3. WOW LOOK AN OCEAN!
Anyway – it was quite the enjoyable trip, but a few things (of course) won awesome awards of “I’m such a priceless and hilarious moment. You should tell everyone.”
First, you must be aware of the situation The Man and I have been living in so far – living with family in a tiny, not-so-drafty-really-hot attic. We have also been exiled to a futon that is perhaps the hardest, most uncomfortable bed-like contraption we have ever come into contact with (and I even lived in a tent for a month!)
Yes, we were very happy. So happy we celebrated by bingeing on salt water taffy, really weird pretzels, and wine while yelling at MythBusters. (Yeah we’re classy)
Then after an evening of REAL no-family-around-awesome-king-sized-bed rest we decided to drive down to the port and experience the happiness of the ocean. Though INCREDIBLY dense fog had settled to the point that we had to imagine an ocean, it was quite fun. We also wanted to stop to see some canons in a tiny park – I mean who would NOT want to see canons. Let’s be real here. We pull off to see the canons, and a man begins walking to the car. My first thought was… oh he looks so dapper. What a nice sui…. HOLY CRAP!
Yes. He was quite obviously an affiliate of a particular religious group known for knocking on doors and badgering people with his very specific number of God’s chosen and his threats of hellfire if you don’t convert. At this point all chaos broke loose in the car.
We sped away. But don’t worry. We came back after the scary man was gone – it ended up being a historical plaque about the only fort that never engaged in hostile fire. Cool, eh?
Finally, as we began to head out of the great northern city we were stopped at a stoplight. It turned green, but the car in front of us did not budge. A few seconds went by, and it was still not moving. Then The Man – who is normal stoic in driving situations went through a transformation only comparable to The Hulk.
Slightly shocked from the drastic transformation next to me is such close quarters, I looked forward to the car and began to chuckle. I noticed some movement in the car and recognized it immediately as ASL (wooo for signed languages). I turned and asked why he was honking. One incredulous Hulk-like look later, I explained that the driver/car in front of us couldn’t hear the honking for they are deaf. The Man’s face changed… and we both got a HUGE laugh out of the whole situation.
And that sums up our trip to Portland: BIG BED, running away from a Jehovah’s Witness, and honking at deaf people. Yep. We’re those people.