If you haven’t heard the song “Call Me Maybe” a gatrillion times due to a the radio, countless covers, and that part of your brain that fills in the lyrical blanks anytime any of the words of the song are spoken – you are not alive. The single is said to be the anthem of this summer, and it’s basically impossible to avoid singing. It sneaks into your brain when you least expect it and BAM you’re screaming out the chorus…
Yes it is alarmingly catchy, but I have philosophical issues with its popularity. That’s right. Prepare for me to wet blanket all over your perky, Canadian-given fun.
Now I will rarely identify as a feminist (it’s the “f” word) but I’ll just own it this time. First, Carly, you should just own the awesome! Don’t feel like a “maybe” is a necessary tag. You don’t need a lexical “out” in order to preserve your dignity. Walk to up the man, give him your number, smile cutely, and walk away. You are hot – don’t question yourself.
Secondly, the overwhelmingly positive reaction from the women-liking men of this work is unsettling. The Man has explained to me that the “maybe” is mean to be coy and therefore attractive, but I don’t buy it. We, as women, are told men look for confidence. When a woman is sure of herself, nothing could be more beautiful. Yet here is the male species ogling over a girl with a tagged on “maybe.” Are you ladies confused yet?
In hopes to rid myself of a potentially irrational dislike of an artist for a single, poopy song, I took to Wikipedia. Carly certainly had a cool start from Canadian Idol, and everything from Canada gets a +3 for cool. (Even the Biebs…) I decided to give her a chance. I like music – even crappy pop music – the rest of her stuff couldn’t be that bad.
Let’s just say her song cleverly entitled “Bucket” included the lyrics “There’s a hole in your bucket, dear Liza.” – which were perfectly fine on their own but should never have made it into any other song… ever – let alone be sung in all seriousness. I really can’t deal with it. At least “Call Me Maybe” provided some interesting conversation about dating etiquette or feminist zeal, but what else can you gather from a hole being in Liza’s bucket? And why is it so catchy??
In the end, I give her a +3 for Canada, a -2 for feminism, and a -56 for horrible lyrics. I will admit my issue is not with her voice, her sound, or her look. She’s pretty cute, and I wish her the best. Now someone get the girl some lyrics!