The Holy Grail: Taco Bell


I believe it is very important to appreciate the ridiculous journey I have taken part in for months. Love, you ask? Yes. I have a very very intense love that can only be satiated by…Taco Bell’s Fruitista Freezes. I know what you are thinking. “Taylor, you have a man. What makes you this daft?” And I say… NOTHING and I mean NOTHING beats the amazing power of those tiny icy circles of mango and strawberry happiness.

They are better than…………chocolate, flowers, sunshine, doughnuts, and that look on a puppy’s face when you finally reveal that YES you are going for a walk!

Anyway when I have a craving these are what I crave. Sometimes I have a hankering in my very SOUL for a Fruitista Freeze.

Now I must tell you my other love of my life – The Man – lives in a part of the United States that isn’t used to housing very many people. I mean… I increased this town’s population by .0006%. One person should not be able to add that much! So by this town and area being confused by becoming that much larger, it is understandable (only if you cock your head and squint really hard) that they would not have something as mundane and necessary as a Taco Bell.

That’s right. There is NO Taco Bell in the immediate area. Feel free to be shocked and standing silently in horror for approximately 1 minute.

This stunning realization that I may not experience a Fruitista Freeze in months and months and months led to some intense research. You know – Google.

Within this county… all 47 miles of this county… there is but ONE Taco Bell. It was rumored to have a tiny plot of land in the not-so-tiny-but-still-small town about 45 minutes away. It was official. I had found the Holy Grail: the only Taco Bell.

I began to dream of the Taco Bell and speak of it lovingly to The Man. He could see the passion that welled within at the mention of the Taco Bell and the icy, fruity that it offered. It became our quest – our couple’s quest – to locate this Taco Bell.

And then we began to drive around aimlessly…

Around and around and around.

We could not find the Holy Grail! Like so many trailblazers before us – it was just out of our reach. We knew, oh yes to the power of Google, we knew it was there. Alas… I would go home each time without having tasted the mango of heaven’s lips yet again.

Finally there was a day that felt different. The Man turned to me and said “GET UP we are going for a drive.” We do this on the regular you know. We greatly enjoy random road trips to nowhere, somewhere, and everywhere in between. Today – it happened to be in pursuit of our quest’s fair maiden: Taco Bell’s offering of a Fruitista Freeze…..and tacos.

After yet another hour of aimless driving I gave up. I could see no hope and demanded we turn around and go home. I turned at the next opportunity so that I could do so, and…THERE IT WAS. I began to tear up in elation. We had found it… albeit on complete accident. BUT IT WAS THERE.

We skipped into the place with declarations of happiness and fortitude – and as I finished the last sip of the Fruitista I realized:

Those were the best freakin’ chalupas I have ever had!



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